What I Learned During Summer Vacation
I recently took a three-week vacation. My sons Drake and Guppy stayed with G. Grod’s kind, brave parents. I went to an Arizona spa for a week, spent a weekend with a friend and her sister, then the remainder of the week on my own in their AZ condo, and returned to MN for a week with G., sans kids. It was part of my recovery process from the depression I became mired in after Guppy was born, sixteen months ago.
Both during and after this vacation, I felt more balanced, happy, and possessed of clear insight than I have ever in my life. This vacation was life changing.
Three Things:
1. I was burned out after three years as a full-time caregiver, first for Drake, and later with Guppy.
2. I became burned out as a full-time caregiver because I am
a. Introverted: small children have many needs, which don’t allow for much down time.
b. Irritible: small children scream, fight, and defecate frequently. It may be normal, but I still find it irritating.
c. Intellectual: caring full-time for small children leaves little time for my own intellectual pursuits, though my book and movie challenges remind me to keep trying.
3. Finding balance involves no longer being the full-time caregiver for my kids. We are trying a nearby 3-day-a-week home daycare that is off to a promising start. This will allow me quiet time to pursue work in writing and teaching. It also enables me to better enjoy the time I do have with my family.
Since I’ve been back we’ve played more, laughed more, and hugged more. There has been far less frustration and yelling on everyone’s part. The time away, which some might view as selfish and overlong, has had an enormous positive impact on all of us.
June 27th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
Girl Detective,
You should be so proud of yourself for taking the time you needed. I hope that your new schedule infuses your life with goodness, and that you keep up your travels, even when things are going well.
June 28th, 2007 at 1:38 pm
sounds like you have hit on a solution that could make life a LOT easier! kudos!
June 28th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Wow! Congrats on getting some time to yourself and your batteries recharged. That’s not something you can do in a week.
July 11th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
I do wonder if I’d taken some extended time previously, say after I weaned Drake, if I’d have needed such an extendo-vacation, or if my PPD would have been so drawn out. What ifs aren’t very useful, though. Instead, I note that the vacation, while luxurious, made a substantively positive impact both on me and my family, so it’s had many practical repercussions.