Help Is Not Enough
When I cared for Drake prior to the arrival of baby Guppy, I did as many household tasks as possible when he was around, e.g., washing dishes. When he napped, I could then do the things only possible in his absence, e.g., writing. With the birth of Guppy early last year, everything changed. I had two people in my care whose needs often conflicted with the other’s, and both of theirs with mine. Naps were never simultaneous. For Drake they soon stopped entirely. Caring for two is harder, and allows for few or no breaks from roughly from 6 a.m. to 9 p.m., and tends to deviate more beyond the extremes than to the middle.
My husband G. Grod was out of town last weekend for a last-minute family affair. He and I arranged before he left to have help for me at the toughest time of day, bath and bedtime. While it was a huge relief to have someone there each night to tag in and out with reading, bathing, listening, and more, it was not enough. I was still exhausted at the end of each day. From Friday evening to Monday morning I hardly had time to myself. I called upon the memory of last weekend’s solitary retreat several times.
With two children, help is necessary but it’s not enough. For me to keep going, I need quiet time each day to write, to read, to think. This past weekend, and the contrast with the weekend before, have made that abundantly clear. Now I just have to figure out how to do it, as well as how to provide the opportunity for G. Grod to get short respites as well, and not have to worry if he needs to take a longer one, too.