What I’m Doing Differently, Second Time Around
A friend asked me recently if I’d do anything differently during my second pregnancy than I did during my first. Ha! I thought. Any one thing? I have a few.
The biggest change is that I do not have a job. I resigned mine when my son Drake was 9 months old, because he kept getting sick in daycare. Note that I did not say, “I do not work.” I care for Drake and our home full time. I much prefer dealing with a pouty, fussy two-year old to managing a pouty, fussy so-called adult, as I was often called to do at my former job. Also, most of my deadlines, and decisions to adhere to them or ignore them, are now almost always my own. Finally, I divide my time between family and writing, and do not have to juggle the awkward third party of work as I once did. I am much more fatigued this pregnancy than last, likely because of wrangling Drake, yet I have much less stress than I did. We have much less money than we did, which is an ongoing challenge, but the tradeoffs have been worthwhile.
Against all conventional wisdom, I am exercising less. During the first weeks of my first trimester of this pregnancy, I continued to go to power yoga classes. Then I stopped, and have switched to infrequent prenatal yoga tapes and walking. During my first pregnancy, I did power yoga until the day before I went into labor, which I entered exhausted and perhaps dehydrated, both of which probably contributed to a lengthy and difficult labor. This time I’m exercising, but I’m also resting. I try to take a short nap when Drake does. I want to do what I can to enter labor reasonably well-rested.
To assist with labor, I am going to meet with a hypnotist and work with a doula. When I checked into the hospital last time, all the rooms were full, and I wasn’t seen for a long time. This time, I’d like to have a birth assistant with my husband and me the whole time.
Finally, I know now that planning has limited value. Many of the things that people assume are birth “choices” aren’t, when it comes down to the actual event. Many people think that things like drugs, cesareans, and episiotomies are outdated choices enforced by conventional medical practitioners. Certain books and gurus enforce this perception. But they aren’t always things that are foisted upon you. Instead, they are sometimes medically necessary to protect the health of the mother or the baby. So I’m not going to go overboard on planning or preparation. If things continue, I will be less stressed, less tired, and more supported than I was last time. I think these things will increase my odds for a decent labor and delivery.
October 28th, 2005 at 6:09 am
We talked about hypnosis in grad school b/c one of my professors’ fathers was very involved. He had taught his entire family and she said that when she had her babies, she was able to be in her altered state and just watch her uterus contract.