Life, three years later
I recognize this feeling. It’s that life is pretty good. The last time I felt this was about three years ago. At that point I felt my life, my job, my relationships, my marriage, my living situation were all pretty good. I could either maintain the status quo, or try to move to a new stage in life and start a family. Things didn’t proceed quite as planned.
I was troubled by hip pain and insomnia during pregnancy. Labor and birth did not go well, though they did result in a healthy baby. I had a series of medical problems after the birth, work deteriorated, Drake was continuously ill in daycare, I resigned, we sold our apartment, bought a new house, moved, and my husband promptly lost his job.
Finally, though, spring arrived in its half-assed fashion to Minnesota. The snow mostly stopped. We began to meet people and make friends. My husband found a job. The weather is sometimes warmer. Occasionally the sun even comes out. Drake and I are able to get out of the house with fewer layers of clothing. I am able to see what life is like when we are not in crisis mode.
Drake is often a joy to be around. I’d be lying or delusional if I said he was that way in general. After all, he’s a person, and none of us is good company, always. I finally realized that it is unreasonable to expect him to be cuddly and laid-back, since these adjectives have never been used to describe me, so I better start appreciating him for what he is, which is active and curious. He is learning his letters and numbers, but has trouble with multi-syllabic ones, like W and 7. He also has trouble with multi-syllabic words and usually only pronounces the first. This can make for problems in understanding, since Toe and Toast sound alike, as do Pea and Pete. Drake is excited to recognize letters and numbers in the world, and often shouts them out with delight in public. At home, he likes to “hide” under the cushions on the couch. He’s pretty easy to find, since a large part of him is usually sticking out. He no longer puts every single thing in his mouth. He still loves to be read to, and has memorized passages from his favorite books, so that we can leave out words and he’ll fill them in, as with the “tiddely pom”s in one of Winnie the Pooh’s songs. This can sometimes be unfortunate, as when he runs about chanting “I die,” a line from Edward Gorey’s The Epiplectic Bicycle. (So much for encouraging non-cutesy children’s books.) Yesterday I noticed that he could hang on the bar over the slide; it used to be out of his reach. Today I noticed that the pants I bought too big at Christmas are definitely too small. Life keeps changing.
Outside, the weather is chill, grey and rainy. I have a lingering cold. It is easy to feel laid low by these things. Instead, I’m reminded that I have a very different life from the one three years ago, one in which I read, write and get to spend time with a developing person. I am glad the crises have died down, so I can appreciate this new life.
May 18th, 2005 at 2:52 pm
Yeah, but I still have to go to work.
May 19th, 2005 at 6:11 am
sounds like you’re in the sweet spot.
[poor G. Grod! don't we all feel that way!
]
May 19th, 2005 at 6:45 am
Actually, for dramatic purposes, I left out the three loads of laundry that followed the five from the day before; making breakfast, lunch and dinner; successfully coaxing toddler to partake thereof; washing, drying and putting away (no dishwasher but me) breakfast, lunch and dinner dishes; changing diapers, poopy and otherwise; screaming fits (Drake’s, not mine); carrying screaming Drake half a block home from the park because he doesn’t understand that cold rain is icky; sore muscle in my back from picking up ever-more-hefty toddler; wiping up puddles of pee from increased naked time for persistent diaper rash; sweeping kitchen floor; and sorting recycling into annoyingly particular categories (paper: news, plain and shiny). That was just yesterday.
Stay-at-home motherhood is not bon-bons and Oprah. I’m just trying to focus on the good stuff.
May 19th, 2005 at 9:35 am
HAHAha. Hey, G.Grod —
p0wned!
…but seriously, thank you both; you both work hard to maintain a really wonderful family. You’re an inspiration, and young Drake is clearly headed for a lively lifetime as a well-adjusted kid with loads of personality.
May 19th, 2005 at 10:28 am
She didn’t mention that she also makes my lunch to take with me for work, and she sat through ~70 minutes of Star Wars: Clone Wars because I’m getting ready for Revenge of the Sith.
May 19th, 2005 at 12:44 pm
Dude?
He totally TURNS INTO DARTH VADER!
May 19th, 2005 at 9:39 pm
I’ll never get those 70 minutes back. What’s worse is that I’d seen about 30 minutes of it already, so my grand total of time wasted on Clone Wars approaches 100 minutes!
Damn you, George Lucas, for infecting so many of our generation, including my husband, with an obsession for a franchise you were hell bent on doing so crappily.
May 20th, 2005 at 7:24 am
Erik: OMG! You were right!
May 20th, 2005 at 7:30 am
As I’m packing all my stuff, I hope to unearth my VHS copy of the “Star Wars Holiday Special.” M.Giant and Trash will tell you — if there’s anything that proves beyond a reasonable doubt that Mr. Lucas didn’t become a sloppy storyteller obsessed with cross-marketing, he always was one, that would be it. We should have a viewing, perhaps when I return over the holiday break later this year.
May 20th, 2005 at 2:38 pm
Oh, yes, let’s waste more of our time on George Lucas generated dreck. NO THANK YOU, ERIK!