No, I’m Not Smarter Than a Four-Year Old

At last week’s “Adventures in Parenting” class we talked about giving children choices so they feel in control. Drake long ago twigged that a “choice” usually meant two variations on something he didn’t want to do. I offered him zig or zag. He would pick zog.

Yesterday, in a sleep-deprived parental lapse of judgment, I told him he needed to go to the bathroom before we left for preschool. Then I turned that into a choice: go to the bathroom, or stay home from preschool. He dug in his heels, and continued his refusal to use the bathroom for over an hour. He then got angry when I wouldn’t take him to preschool, which was half over, plus 21mo Guppy was then napping.

So Drake and I had a power struggle, which I clearly lost, he missed preschool, and I didn’t get an afternoon break that I desperately needed. The only winner was Guppy, who got an uninterrupted three-hour nap.

Today, I more wisely gave him the choice of going to the bathroom at home, or at preschool, and we made it to school on time.

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