Girl Detective

My friend Becca and I went to see #35 in my 2007 movie challenge, Knocked Up, in the theater, without kids (though apparently some parents were OK with bringing small children into this R-rated film), and with buttered popcorn and candy.

I loved this movie. It is an ever-so-rare comedy of substance. It’s funny, it’s sad, and in the end it’s sweet. I left this movie feeling happy, as did NYT film critic A.O. Scott.

If you were a fan of director Judd Apatow’s critically acclaimed but criminally canceled television shows Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared, you will probably appreciate this movie and its strange blend of hope, and acknowledgement of the suckiness of much of everyday life.

I know many people who didn’t like the similar weird mix in Apatow’s last film, The 40-Year-Old Virgin. I hope the packed theater at Knocked Up means that more people are open to Apatow’s geeky, complex, and ultimately life-affirming, sense of humor.

My husband G. Grod sent me a link from Boing Boing to Merlin Mann at 43 Folders on “The strange allure (and false hope) of email bankruptcy“. This was the first I’d heard of the term, though Mann posted previously about it, and it may date from as long ago as 1999, according to this WaPo article. The popular lit agent/blogger, Miss Snark, periodically referred to “hosing out her inbox” in a similar bid to start fresh. Mann has another suggestion for managing email that he calls the “email DMZ“.

The WaPo piece notes that many tech-savvy and email-inundated people are backing off from (or even out of) email in favor of the telephone. Since having baby Guppy 16 months ago, I’ve attempted the opposite, as I found phone calls more difficult than email.

As I noted recently, though, I’m buried in my inboxes, both at home and for the blog. They’ve swelled to a grand, cringe-inducing, and possibly paralyzing, total of 580. Mann captures my feelings on this, exactly:

Email is such a funny thing. People hand you these single little messages that are no heavier than a river pebble. But it doesn’t take long until you have acquired a pile of pebbles that’s taller than you and heavier than you could ever hope to move, even if you wanted to do it over a few dozen trips. But for the person who took the time to hand you their pebble, it seems outrageous that you can’t handle that one tiny thing. “What ‘pile’? It’s just a fucking pebble!”

To all the kind friends and family who have emailed me, I will again quote Mann, in reply to you.

I’m not prepared to declare bankruptcy just yet, but if you were kind enough to email me a pebble some time over the last few [YEARS], there’s a very good chance that I still haven’t found the time to do something appropriately nice with it. Which makes me feel awful. I sincerely apologize if your lovely pebble is still in my very large pile.

I’m currently on a sort of break, so I have the usual hope/delusion that I’ll be able to “catch up on everything” that this piece from the Onion skewered so wonderfully. Please be patient if (when?) I don’t get through all 580 pebbles in the next few weeks.

#18 in my 2007 book challenge for the year was Discipline without Tears, a book recommended to me by the doula who helped me through labor with Guppy. It’s not aimed at parents, but rather at teachers, though it has some good insights for both. The authors note that children are good observers, but bad interpreters. They contend that young children have four major desires when they act out: attention, power, revenge, and withdrawal. How an adult feels is a good hint as to the child’s object. An adult often feels annoyed at a child wanting attention, threatened by one seeking power, hurt by one seeking revenge, and helpless by one who has withdrawn. Adults are encouraged to communicate with the child to clarify the situation, and act in response to the different situations: give attention when the child isn’t seeking it, not when she is; give power to the child; don’t show hurt, and find ways for other children to draw out withdrawn peers. This is an old book, and somewhat dated, but it’s worthwhile in that it encourages adults to take the time to analyze what’s going on, learn new patterns, and teach new patterns. Skip the workbook at the end. I recommend re-reading the most relevant chapters instead.

A few things, in list form about Chabon’s appearance, as I’m tired and feel a cold coming on.

One of Chabon’s favorite books is Pride and Prejudice. When the interviewer expressed surprise at this, his voice gently chided her as he asked whether she was surprised that he had picked it, or that it was considered great at all. He admired Austen’s ability to dial up and down her ironic and perfectly pitched voice in the service of her characters. He also said that Elizabeth Bennet is one of the very few main characters that he never tires of spending time with.

While he was writing three of his recent novels–Summerland, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, and The Yiddish Policemen’s Union–people sent him books by other authors that had similar, out-there themes. He waited till after he’d finished his book to read them. (American Gods by Neil Gaiman, a book about comic strips, and The Plot Against America by Philip Roth, respectively.)

Chabon no longer writes through the night, as he did when he was younger. He prefers waking early to spend the beginning of the day with his kids before they go to school, as opposed to 4 to 6 pm, which he noted is the hardest time of the day with kids. (Amen to that.) He also no longer writes short fiction, since the time he used to devote to it is now given to his four children, who range in age from four to thirteen. He likes to read fairy tales to them, since it’s something that can engage all ages.

#17 in my 2007 book challenge was Gilead, my second reading of Robinson’s luminous work. How can I possibly contain my admiration for this book in a brief review? I discussed it with two groups of people. Few liked it; many found it dull. Several wondered why it was good enough to win the Pulitzer. I admit that I admire it more than I enjoyed it. But the experience of it and the aftermath as I ruminate on it, are deeply pleasurable and satisfying.

It’s a letter by an elderly minister written to his young son, to be read long after his death. There is story, plot, mystery, and romance; all are part of the narrator’s ruminations on his life. This is not a fast-paced thriller. It is, though, a deep examination of human relationships, especially between parents and children. It is also a thoughtful theological examination of a microcosm of suffering and redemption, etched onto a small town.

On this reading, I found a parallel between the generations of the narrator’s family, and the ages of Christianity. His grandfather was a soldier and warrior, who had visions of God and lived by simplistic rules of right and wrong, like the God of the Old Testament. He also has only one eye, like Odin, the Norse god of thunder and war. The narrator’s father read widely, and valued peace above all. He had a contentious relationship with his father, much as Jesus did. The narrator, John Ames, is a thinker. He has books on theology and his own thoughts on those. He is an analog for the age of the Holy Spirit, in which there isn’t an immanent God. The question I still ponder is, what age of Christianity does the narrator’s son represent?

The last three movies I watched–Babel, For Your Consideration, and Infamous–were disappointments. All three had moments, but not enough to feel good about the time I spent on them, or to recommend them.

By skimming reviews from trusted sources like Time Out and Ebert and Roeper, I can get a pretty good idea of what I’ll like and what I can skip. I need to be more careful in the future. I have little time to myself, and I don’t want to spend it on mediocrity. I’m glad that I saw a few excellent movies recently, like The Lives of Others, Shadow of a Doubt, and Infernal Affairs, that remind me to keep trying.

#34 in my 2007 movie challenge was Alejandro González Iñárritu’s Babel. I recently watched both Amores Perros (his best film, I thought) and 21 Grams, both of which were good, if often difficult to watch. Midway through Babel, I found myself thinking “I hate this movie; I just hate it.” It was an overlapping narrative concerned with racism and prejudice. The tension centered largely around a woman and children in danger. I’m beyond tired of all those conceits. Yes, there were some good performances here, but this cruel, button-pushing film left a sour taste in my mouth long before the end, when the white people are OK while the people of color are mostly screwed.

#33 in my 2007 movie challenge was For Your Consideration, the latest, and lamest, of Christopher Guest’s mockumentaries, this one about the cast of a small film that begins to get Oscar buzz. Perhaps an insider would find it more funny, but I laughed only twice: at Michael McKean’s “We don’t want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. We’d have a wet and critically injured baby!” and Fred Willard’s mispronunciation of the word gamut in the deleted scenes. Catherine O’Hara gives a cringe-worthy and heartbreaking performance as a long-time character actor, but that wasn’t the tone I was looking for when I selected this movie. I think Guest had real gems with Waiting for Guffman and Best in Show. With FYC and A Mighty Wind, though, I think the hit or miss humor is weighing heavily toward the latter.

#32 in my 2007 movie challenge was Infamous, aka the other movie about Truman Capote. It suffers in comparison to Bennett Miller’s 2005 Capote, but does have its merits, among them Toby Jones’s portrayal of Truman Capote. It takes a different view of the proceedings, and includes entertaining scenes of Capote’s society life in NYC. Disappointing and mostly forgettable otherwise, though.

#31 in my 2007 film challenge was The Lives of Others, and it was just fabulous. See this film. A complex character study as well as a history lesson, it is a challenging, provoking work that gives credit to the viewer by not over-explaining its excellent, exquisitely wrought details. I was happy to spend $12 on a ticket and popcorn (real butter! with dark chocolate M & Ms mixed in by me!) to see this film in a theater.

Reminder: I set this film challenge for myself after having my first child. I love films, so I make seeing them a priority. My children are not excuses to forego things that I love. They just make me work harder for them; thus I appreciate them more.

#30 in my 2007 movie challenge was Infernal Affairs, the Hong Kong movie that Scorcese remade as The Departed. When I saw The Departed earlier this year, I liked it a lot, and I thought DiCaprio especially did a great job. Seeing IA has given another dimension to my experience of TD, which I’ll discuss after I get through telling you how great IA is.

Two kids go undercover, one criminal into the police, one police cadet into crime. Both rise in the ranks, and in the esteem of their bosses. IA is a tight, stylish film that doesn’t miss a beat–the music, the editing, the small details that clue the viewer in but aren’t hammered home. While Andew Lau and Tony Leung are compelling as the leads, the rest of the cast also shines, most notably their two bosses and Leung’s dimwitted criminal colleague. This is a bittersweet, smart tale, told exceptionally well.

By comparison, TD’s merits have dimmed for me. Much of what was good about Scorcese’s film was taken from the original, such as the cat and mouse scenes between the two moles. Jack Nicholson was miscast, and his analog in IA, played by Eric Tsang, only underscores that. Further, Scorcese lengthened the script by 50(!) minutes, most of which was to overexplain things that were done with skill and subtlety in IA. Martin Sheen was good as DiCaprio’s father figure, but Anthony Wong as SP Wong was better in IA. I still think DiCaprio did a great acting job, but seeing IA made it clear that he had the most sympathetic role. Lau and Damon had the thankless task of embodying an almost unempathizable character. Two female charactes from IA were needlessly, and less believably, condensed into the same person in TD, though played well by Vera Farmiga. The Departed was a good film. DiCaprio and Damon were very good, but the standout of the film was Mark Wahlberg. That role and his performance were original to Scorcese’s film, and truly great.

During the hospital program I attended for post-partum depression and anxiety, we had two classes on relaxation with guided imagery. On my last day of the program we listened to a soothing CD whose narrator took us through the stages of relaxation. Toward the end, the narrator instructed us to imagine a beautiful gold box was sitting next to us, tied with a luxurious silk ribbon.

Wow, I thought, that reminds me a lot of the turning point in David Lynch’s Mulholland Drive. My mind started wandering in that direction; I drew it back to the sound of the narrator’s voice.

“Now imagine that you’re opening the box,” she said. “And what’s inside the box is whatever it is that you really, really want and need right now.”

What came to my mind at that instance? World peace? Personal peace? Patience? Health? Happiness?

No. I opened my imaginary box and found a John Hughes DVD box set. I burst out laughing, which I’m sure disturbed some of my more relaxed and meditative compatriots.

So, there we have it, folks. When given the choice of anything in the world, my relaxed meditative self said she wanted to watch 80’s teen dramedies. I’m not sure if this is humorous, pathetic, or both.

There are two(!) John Hughes DVD sets: Too Cool for School, which includes Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Some Kind of Wonderful, and Pretty in Pink; and The Brat Pack, with The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, and Sixteen Candles.

Did you think Mothers Day was invented by Hallmark? It’s been around for longer than that. Some research dates it back to Cybele (pronounced with a hard C, short Y and long E at the end: KIH-buh-Lee) worship in ancient Greece. The American version is largely based on a post-Civil War peace manifesto. The English version, Mothering Sunday, was reportedly begun so working class domestics could have at least one Sunday off a year to visit their mums, and so the mums could have off to receive the visits. Whatever the origin, though, there’s little disagreement that mothering is a tough gig, and few begrudge moms the day as tribute to that.

Some very good news for moms: the Mommy War is more a media invention than an accurate portrait of reality:

Most women today have to work: it’s the only way their families are going to be fed, housed and educated. A new college-educated generation takes it for granted that women will both work and care for their families — and that men must be an integral part of their children’s lives. It’s a generation that understands that stay-at-home moms and working mothers aren’t firmly opposing philosophical stances but the same women in different life phases, moving in and out of the part-time and full-time workforce for the few years while their children are young.

In this week leading up to Mothers Day in America, think about the mothers in your life. Not just your mom, or your spouse’s mom, but all the mothers: friends, siblings, co-workers, neighbors. Give a mom a break this week. If you hear a screaming kid and judgment flashes through your brain, offer help instead. And think of pretty, comforting things, big or small, that might make a mom’s day a bit brighter:

Card Papyrus carries, and Marcel Shurman makes, lovely ones.

Flowers I love yellow roses and dislike lilies. Do your loved one a favor. Ask what she likes, and avoid carnations, daisies, baby’s breath, and alstroemeria, unless specifially requested. Gerbera daisies are an exception.

Chocolate Twin Citian’s are fortunate to have both B.T. McElrath (I love the passionfruit and dark chocolate truffles) and Legacy Chocolates (Potion No. 9) readily available.

Accessories Little blue box or big orange box, brand recognition can be a lovely thing. I love the blue/green En Duo ribbon pattern.

Books I recently recommended Jill Murphy’s Five Minutes’ Peace and Kate Atkinson’s Behind the Scenes at the Museum. Both take wry looks at the mundane reality of mothering small children, though Atkinson’s book is both funny and tragic. For self-examination and spiritual growth, I recommend Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Gift cards for www.amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, Border’s, or your local book shop are always good ideas.

Ice Cream Did you know that you can get Graeter’s ice cream shipped? Now you do. The chocolate chip flavors are stunning.

Ice Cream, Again Twin Citians, you’ve got a lot to love.

Fancy Dinner at the best restaurant in your city. Twin Citians, this is ours.

Music Fun and Booty-Shakin’ (Justin Timberlake’s FutureSex/Lovesounds), Local (new Low album!), Singer/Songwriter male (Rufus Wainwright’s Release the Stars), Singer/Songwriter female (Patti Griffin’s Children Running Through), Sophomore effort (Arctic Monkeys’ Favourite Worst Nightmare)

Movies Go out to a theater that serves good popcorn with real butter (Heights, Riverview, or GTI Roseville in the Twin Cities), or stay in and watch the vastly underrated Children of Men, Alfonso Cuaron’s chilling look at a future without mothers.

If you have other ideas, email me and I’ll post them, too.

My unexpected gift, today? That baby Guppy is still napping, which has allowed me the time I needed for this link-a-palooza.

And if you were bothered by my lack of apostrophe in Mothers Day, get over it. Apostrophes are one of the most misused and unnecessary pieces of punctuation. Here’s a long explanation of why I can leave them out. But do you get what I mean when I say Mothers Day? Then you see my point.

#29 in my 2007 movie challenge was A Better Way to Die, the oldest thing on my Tivo. My husband G. Grod refused to watch it again, but my visiting sister, Sydney, had not seen it. It’s set in our small hometown, and Scott Wiper, (whose current movie is getting creamed by the critics) was a classmate of our sister’s and the actor, writer, and director. A second viewing only confirmed the opinions I had the first time I saw ABWtD: Wiper can direct at a good clip, but his story and dialogue sometimes strain belief, and his acting and voice can’t carry the movie. Lou Diamond Phillips is unbelievable and stiff as a main character, and Natasha Henstridge is the requisite hot actress who does a love scene, then provides a motive for Wiper’s Boomer to get angry and vengeful. Sometimes it fairly crackled with humor, though. Joe Pantoliano stood out in a short amount of screentime, and Andre Braugher elevates this movie beyond mediocrity. A Better Way to Die has some sharp one liners, a fast pace, and crisp direction. It’s a decent B movie.

#28 in my 2007 movie challenge was director Gillies MacKinnon’s Regeneration, based on Pat Barker’s excellent historical novel of the same name, and released in the U.S. as Behind the Lines. Like many book adaptations, Regeneration’s reach exceeds its grasp. The movie unsuccessfully crams in too many elements of the book, and ends up doing justice to very few of them. As an illustration of the book, it is well cast. Jonathan Pryce is Capt. William Rivers, a pioneer in psychology. Jonny Lee Miller (an ex-husband of Angelina Jolie, and business partner of Ewan MacGregor and Jude Law) does a good job as Billy Prior, one of my favorite fictional characters, though the film glances over or omits many of his myriad complexities. Tanya Allen is sweet and sympathetic as his girlfriend Sarah. Many films have tried to capture the physical experience of combat; Regeneration excels as an exploration of the psychological effects of warfare. There are very good things here, but not enough of them for me to strongly recommend the film. The book, however, is one of my all-time favorites.

The first Saturday in May is Free Comic Book Day. Visit your local comic store to pick up a free comic book. Many have been created just for the day, so they’re not just 25 cent-ers. I plan on picking up Comics Festival! 2007, Whiteout, Nexus, and Owly. I highly recommend Whiteout and Nexus.

Find your local comic shop by visiting the Comic Shop Locator. Do not be afraid. The Simpsons guy is an exaggeration. Free Comic Book Day was created for comic book geeks (like me) and neophytes as well.

If you’re in the Twin Cities, visit the best comic shop, Big Brain Comics, on Washington Avenue by The Loft and Grumpy’s.

Reading, Discussion, & Book Signing with John Scalzi, who writes The Whatever and is a SF author on the rise*

Saturday, May 5, 2007
1:00pm

Uncle Hugo’s
2864 Chicago Avenue South
Minneapolis, MN 55407
(612) 824-6347

*Event in conjunction with author Tate Hallaway

#27 in my 2007 movie challenge would have been Batman Begins, but I couldn’t stay awake for the ending. (I was more impressed when I saw it in theater.) So #27 is The Lake House, or “Magic Mailbox,” as NYT film critic A.O. Scott quipped. Ebert and Roeper liked it when it came out last year, so in spite of the mixed reviews of others (unlike the guy in Metropolitan–which is an adaptation of Austen’s Mansfield Park; I didn’t know that!–I read reviews and read books/see movies) we decided to give it a try. I’m glad I did. This was a sweet romance. Bullock and Reeves inhabit the titular house at different points, but they share a dog and a mailbox that defy the space/time continuum. I was surprised at how decent this was, and that it didn’t suck. While those sound like faint praise, they’re not. There was a nice theme about Jane Austen’s Persuasion running through it, and while they didn’t get the parallel exactly right, it was pretty close. This was a gentle, heartening movie that was good at the end of a frazzling day. The weird things that bothered me? The actor who played Reeves’s brother, Ebon Moss-Bachrach, had a very strange hairline. And Keanu Reeves in a turtleneck sweater, or perhaps any man, for that matter? No. Just, no.

#26 in my 2007 movie challenge, Shadow of a Doubt may well be the favorite Hitchcock movie of the sixteen* I’ve seen. It’s in black and white, and stars Teresa Wright as a small-town teenager whose uncle Charlie, for whom she is named, may be hiding something. Charlie is alerted to her uncle’s possible wrongdoings, and then goes all girl detective as she seeks, and fails, to prove his innocence. Joseph Cotten is appropriately creepy as the uncle, and veers scarily between animated interactions with young Charlie’s family, and monotone threats to himself, the detectives, and the newly clued-in young Charlie. Hitch gives the viewer a credible psychological backstory for Uncle C, as well as squirm-inducing scenes of Uncle C manhandling young C that imply far more than they show. The movie tells a good story with suspense, and Hitch hasn’t yet cemented his famous fetishes, like torturing pretty blonds, that were unpleasant hallmarks of his later films. What I noticed on this viewing was how masterfully Hitch ratcheted up the anxiety of the viewer using domestic commonplaces like a Martha-ish mom and bickering small children. It was strangely affirming to my current struggles with depression and anxiety to see the darker side of domesticity.

*The 39 Steps
The Lady Vanishes
Rebecca
Foreign Correspondent
Shadow of a Doubt
Spellbound
Notorious
Rope
Dial M for Murder
Rear Window
To Catch a Thief
Vertigo
North by Northwest
Psycho
The Birds
Marnie

I am a long-time fan of Ebert’s reviews, both written and on television. I started watching At the Movies when he was auditioning new partners for the late Gene Siskel’s chair. Sometime last year, Ebert went for cancer treatment, and has not yet returned. Here, he details why not.

I’ve continued to watch At the Movies with Richard Roeper while Ebert’s been gone. I’ve liked seeing Roeper grow as a critic over the years, at least in part because of working with Ebert. I don’t always agree with what they say, but I do respect their opinions. Roeper has had a rotating band of guest critics. Several have been quite good, like A.O. Scott from The New York Times and Lisa Schwarzbaum from Entertainment Weekly. I was both surprised and impressed with the critical insights from Aisha Tyler, Kevin Smith, and Jay Leno. Others have disappointed, like Fred Willard and John Mellencamp. Since Ebert still can’t talk, I don’t think he’ll be back soon. But Roeper’s doing a good job holding down the balcony, and I hope they can keep the good guests coming till Roger is better.