Girl Detective

The exterminator came today after I sighted what turned out to be an earwig yesterday, a roach a week ago, and far too many centipedes last month. He agreed with me that the lone roach was probably a fluke. He did not seem nearly impressed enough that I’d had to presence of mind to save the corpse. Yet that’s what ALL exterminators ask for, and they often doubt that it was a roach, and I could prove it!

Sadly, I have had a fair number of roach outbreaks, all of which have proved to either be flukes, i.e., they came in from a box or paper bag, or overflows from somebody else’s roach nest. Even I’m beginning to be suspicious. Maybe it is me. I’m not the most sluttish housekeeper in the world, but the place isn’t sparkling, either.

As for the centipedes, he said the bad news about them and about spiders is that they’re the top of the insect food chain, so if we’ve got ‘em, it means we have other insects as well that they’re feeding off. So he sprayed inside and will come back to spray outside, and said that our dehumidifier, as well as the recent drier weather, should help a lot. Also, he noted that spiders don’t respond to spray because they just tiptoe over it, and don’t groom themselves like insects do.

Lovely image, don’t you think?

I did see one small centipede carcass already, so I’m feeling good about calling in the cavalry.

I’m coming to you cordless from the relative cool (about 80) of my basement as I test drive some new hardware while Drake naps. I have a few wrinkles to iron out, but I think a new writing routine is in the works, one that doesn’t involve skulking around the too-hot upstairs study.

Technically, I’m wireless, not cordless, but then I wouldn’t have been able to quote from one of the best teen movies ever, The Sure Thing. Did you miss that 80’s gem? If so, watch it to see Anthony Edwards with hair, Nicolette Sheridan before she became a skank, John Cusack being cute and charming as always, and a funny small role by Tim Robbins.

One of the things I looked forward to as a homeowner was having a compost pile. Each time my husband G. Grod or I cooked, especially in summer, I winced at all the good stuff that was going down the disposal or into the trash. Having a compost bin would be both environmentally correct and useful.

Sadly, my dream has died. Apparently, I can’t handle something so basic as decomposing matter. Our compost bin is smelly, attracts creatures of all sorts, and when I went to pull out some of that rich dirt, I found moldy lemon peel that probably dated from our possession of the house, last fall.

I looked up the details online, which sounded simple, though was still more complicated than I’d thought before. I tried stirring things around, but just enraged a few bees. I beat a hasty retreat, and we have been throwing our scraps in the garbage ever since.

I was so careful before my shower last week. I shook out my towel, peered into ever nook of my robe, jiggled the shower curtain and looked inside the shower. I saw no centipedes. Only as I finished and went to draw the curtain, which I HAD jiggled, did a HUGE brown centipede scurry down the edge to the floor, causing me to let out a full-on scream. Then I killed it dead.

So my question for all you experienced home owners out there is how many centipedes are too many? I know they’re “normal” and even supposedly beneficial, but I’m not sure how much more I can take. Do I have to live with them? Do I call an exterminator? I suspect that our drain tile system, which ensures a dry basement, creates an easy in for them. Do I have to suffer centipedes as the price of my dry basement?

The second dilemma isn’t of the house, but of the detached garage. The inspector said last year that the garage roof had one year left in it. Do we dare to push it another year?

Finally, I’m wondering about gutters. We have a high, steep roof, so cleaning them ourselves would be challenging. Do we do it anyway, hire someone, ignore till winter? Ignore at our peril?

Any input from experienced folk would be wildly appreciated. I am SO out of my element as a homeowner. Like parenthood, it demands work, knowledge and practice that I find difficult to adopt in my late thirties.

I’m well into my thirties, but I have no experience with weeds. As a teen, my share of the yard work was mowing the lawn. I kept my resentment of this job mostly to myself, until I ran our riding mower over a seedling buckeye tree, then deep into a 6-foot-square yew shrub. The bush died, I was fired, and a succession of very cute lawn boys picked up where I left off. As far as I was concerned, it was win, win.

I lived in apartments until last fall, when my husband G. Grod and I purchased our house. The yard is tiny, but not problem free. Which are the weeds? Dandelions are obvious, but some of the stuff I’ve pulled up smells like mint. Also, the previous owner mentioned tomato plants. I have no idea what a tomato plant looks like, yet there are weed-looking things in the area.

When we bought the house, we were excited that half the back yard was covered with wood chips. Less lawn to care for, we thought. Two things have become apparent. One, weeds grow in wood chips as well as they do in the grass. Two, after more than three weeks of rain, wood chips get moldy.

Today’s most concerning find was by our back steps. I noticed some uprooted plants in a secluded corner, then saw a small hole filled with grass and moss. Something built its nest/burrow right under our back door.

I can’t differentiate between weeds/not weeds, and I’ve got moldy chips and burrowing creatures. I don’t think I’m up to this.